Acupuncture Week 3: Moxa, Non-Fiction and those damn Duggars

My appointment with the reflexologist is good. She tells me when I walk in that she’s been talking to PinLady, and they think that my body fat may be too low, and that’s why I haven’t gotten my period. I smile. She’s so sweet, but so ridiculous. I have enough junk in the trunk to blow that idea out of the water. But then again, I’ve been laying face up for my treatments, so they may not have noticed one of my best assets, and the reason my husband married me. I decide I’m going to use the time on the table to visualize instead of just falling asleep. I envision light all over my body, healing energy and the whole nine. I don’t know if I’m doing it right, but it was worth a shot. The reflexologist says she hopes to not see me next week. I wish she’d stop saying that, I’m thinking, because when I see you next week, you’re going to say it again. It just reminds me that my period isn’t here.

A few days later I’m in with PinLady again. This time she does needles in my legs, but on my stomach she does what she calls “moxa”. She inserts needles and burns herbs on top of them. The idea is that the heat conducts all the way through the needle, and stimulates the nerve point. She also takes a shallow dish and puts the same burning herbs in it and rests it on my belly. My stomach heats up a bit. It smells like weed. I don’t really mind. I like it better than the needles. I wish I had a joint to smoke now, actually. Maybe it would release some of this stress. My acupuncturist tells me to give her 3 months to fix me. She says that these things take time. OK, I say. I am secretly trying to figure out if I’m going to cut it to 2 months, because my patience is short. On my way out, she asks me to cut out all caffeine. No more black tea.

As the week goes on, I start to get worried that I’m paying money for something that is not going to pay off in the end. My husband points out how many clothes I have bought from Barney’s that I haven’t worn, and I don’t cry about that. If you waste money, you move on past it, he says. And you buy a new outfit. Maybe I should buy a new outfit. Or maybe I should just brush my hair. My outside appearance is lacking. My boss asks me what’s wrong. I tell him I’m sick. He tells me my clothes and hair look sick too. I don’t even have anything to say back. As bitchy as that is, he’s right.

I’ve been watching that fucking TLC show “A Baby Story.” It’s not helping. It’s making me anxious. And most of them are some stupid story about how these people got pregnant, unplanned. That 19 Kids and Counting is making me want to vomit. This woman had 19 damn kids. I can’t even have one? Part of me is realizing that I’m starting to look like that woman. I’m not taking care of myself, and I am sure my husband is disgusted. If only I could eat some rocky road ice cream. Fucking sugar ban. I start researching agave.

And I download the book PCOS and Your Fertility by Collette Harris and Theresa Cheung. The author was from the UK. Surprise, surprise. (Where are all the American fertility folks?) The author starts out by saying that she had PCOS, and she changed her diet and used herbs and acupuncture to cure her situation within 6 weeks. Exactly what I needed to hear.  This is the first time I’m really reading about insulin resistance and diet affecting PCOS. She talks about following a low glycemic index diet. I make a note to start re-reading my book: The GI Diet by Rick Gallop. She talks about keeping blood sugar constant during the day, and increasing exercise. I’m all for it. She gives her 7 step plan:

1. Manage your weight

2. Get as fit and as well as you can.

3. Reduce the levels of stress in your life.

4. Eat fresh, healthy food and make sure you get your pro-fertility nutrients.

5. Detox your diet and your lifestyle to get rid of anti-fertility chemicals.

6. Ask yourself if you are ready.

7. Enjoy your sex life.

I felt like the last two were really stupid things to have on a list for those of us trying to get pregnant, but whatever. It’s super sparse in the natural remedy section. There’s like a paragraph on acupuncture. I did get a better understanding of PCOS, which didn’t answer my questions on why this happened, but gave some good facts to know.  I’m going to start looking more into this diet thing.

My period better come next week.

PROGRESS: Physically, nothing. Mentally a better understanding of PCOS.

LESSONS LEARNED: Ignorance isn’t always bliss. Better to be armed with more information than not enough. This isn’t going to be as easy as I thought. Stop worrying about wasting money.