Logging Off

Hi Ladies. I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I think it’s time to take a sabbatical from my blog. I need to shift my focus from where I was before getting pregnant to how to have a productive, happy and healthy pregnancy. I can’t do that if I’m still getting pissed off about what happened before, and am constantly looking backwards. I’ll still be here to support you guys and will be checking in on you, but won’t be actively posting. If you have questions on acupuncture or my journey, please please email me or leave a comment. Best to all of you!

Pregnancy Week 12.5: I’m going to punch my endocrinologist in the face. Try to stop me.

So I’m doing a diet intervention on myself. Now that PinLady has eased up on my cold food restriction, I asked my husband to pick me up some lemon sorbet. Great, right? Fat free, right? Great. Except while watching some 20/20 Investigation, I looked down and had eaten a full pint. No more. So far I’ve gained a pound, which is all squarely in my little pooch that is forming. Not a big deal, but I’m not going down the “I’m eating for two” road. I made a weigh in chart, based off of how much I am supposed to gain. And no more sorbet. Or junk. I just can’t have it in the house.

I thought that once I got pregnant, especially after the journey, I would have wanted to scream it from the mountaintops. Instead I’m being super cautious about saying anything. I don’t know why. I’m being weird. My mom said the other option is to tell everyone once the baby is actually born. Then I don’t have to tell a soul until everything goes 100% smoothly. She thinks she’s really funny. But whatever. I don’t want to just be a piece of gossip, and I’ll tell my friends who are important to me. The rest can see when my belly starts sticking out.  My husband is turning out to be a mush ball, kissing and petting me more than normal, and checking on me a million times a day. If you knew my husband, this would shock and amaze you.

But on to my good for nothing endocrinologist. This is just a word of warning to all of you ladies out there. CHECK behind people. ESPECIALLY doctors when it comes to your health. As many of you know, my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) was 3.43 at my last checkup in May. This is out of range for pregnant women. It should be between .5 and 2.5. The lower the TSH, the more efficient your thyroid is working. When it isn’t working as efficiently, it starts producing the hormone like crazy. Levels of 3.43 are not a huge deal, but my endo wanted to get it under control before it goes up. If your TSH is too high, the baby will have issues forming its own thyroid and potentially have issues. She put me on 25mcg of synthroid, the lowest dosage they can give.

So I got my blood taken on the Monday the week of the appointment, which was on a Friday. I called Thursday to make sure it was in. It was. When I got there, my endo was like “Unfortunately, your levels are at 3.4.” I was like “Oh. That’s what it was last time. I guess it’s not getting any better.” She goes on to say that she should have started me on a higher dosage, and that 25mcg usually doesn’t work for most people – they need more. She says she’s going to double my dosage, and tells me to go to the front to get my slip. I always ask for copies of my labs. And I’m glad I do. I asked the nurse about my testosterone level, because we didn’t discuss it with the doctor. She said it wasn’t tested. I said yes the fuck it was. She printed out the copy of the labs she was going to give me to take home. “See?” she said? I looked at the paperwork, and the fucking paperwork was from May. This is JUNE. I was LIVID. This fucking doctor was doubling my dosage based off of old paperwork. I’m acting a fool in the waiting room, talking about how this was a waste of my money and my copay and time. People were staring. I didn’t give a shit. The nurse ushered me to the back to talk to the doctor. She apologized, saying “Well, the dosage wouldn’t have hurt you.” What the FUCK does that mean?? I lost it. I am never going back there. When they pulled the right results, my level had dropped to 0.83, which is EXCELLENT. Do you hear me? Excellent, with the lowest dosage of synthroid they give, and in less than 2 weeks of usage. My body is freaking amazing.

So lesson here ladies is to watch these people like hawks. Human error is well and good, but not for me. Disgusted.

Pregnancy Week 12: It’s Been A Minute.

Hey ladies, it’s been a minute since I posted. Part of me doesn’t want to be annoying to my sisters in the search for fertility by posting an update every time something happens to me. But I do want to let you guys know how I’m doing. And give you any things to look for in the future in your pregnancies, which are all in the works. So I promise to not be one of those ridiculous people who posts a picture of every ultrasound and every checkup. That would annoy me, and I would be the person doing it.

Quick update on how I’m feeling: I’m taking the 25mcg of the Synthroid every day. I have to take it on an empty stomach, and I’m starving when I wake up, so I’m taking it at 5AM when I wake up for the 3rd time to pee and then going back to sleep. It’s not making me feel any different, so I hope it’s working. I have been a crazy woman in the gym, still in there 4 days a week for lifting plus cardio, and then doing my daily walks with my fertility-challenged neighbor, who is also pregnant. No morning sickness, no real food aversions except the smell of fish and ketchup. We saw the ultrasound last week, and the baby had hands, legs and arms. So crazy, since last time it was just a little bean. My husband, who is going to every appointment, is beyond excited, and started telling his friends. So far I’ve told my trainer and one of my good friends. I’m being a chicken. I think because I’m not feeling or looking different, it doesn’t feel totally real.

Part of why I’ve been out of commission is because I was spearheading a baby shower for my sister in law. She is the most ungrateful person I have ever met. Ever. She acts like people owe her. Case in point: she opens up all of the gifts, and decides that she doesn’t want to open the cards. I remind her that many people may have gotten large things off of her registry and probably still want to be thanked. She’s annoyed but does it. So I’m sitting next to her, writing down the gifts she’s getting, and she opens the gift my husband and I got for her. Something to the tune of $400. She says “you guys are crazy.” She doesn’t say thank you, nor does she reach over and hug me. WTF??!! I wanted to snatch that shit out of her hands and tell her we were going to cancel it.

Then later, she stands up to thank her mother and her husband for being supportive. The older ladies remind her rather loudly that that is her husband’s job, because it’s his kid. Does she thank all of us who put together the shower? No. What about those of us that visited her in the hospital? Of course not. And how many times has she called me to check on me now that she knows I’m pregnant? Zero times. Just about as classy as one can get.

I have no idea why she annoys me so much. But ooh, she does. I can not stand ungrateful, self-absorbed people. And the fact that I didn’t want to do this shower in the first place didn’t help. Or that she takes the time to send a picture text of her baby 20 times a day while not taking the time to text me and see if I’m doing okay works my last nerve. But, despite that, one of my missions moving forward is to be more zen. And let things roll off my back. I gotta get this under control before the baby comes. I start yoga back up next week (PinLady said it’s ok after the first trimester.), prenatal massage next weekend, and have been seeing the chiropractor. I need to get  my shit right mentally and physically. I have to.

Anyways ladies, more later. Toodles.